Today has been sad and somber filled. There is a sadness hanging in the air, thick as the humidity of a mid-August day in the south.
A dear friend has begun another part of her journey as she passed this morning from her earthly life.
A childhood friend of my wife, she has been battling leukemia for the better part of three years spending the past several weeks in a coma.
Words are difficult to come by at this time. All that can be offered from our hearts are prayers and thoughts of love and caring for her family.
Forty-seven is too young to leave this world and we offer sympathy, prayers, and many words unspoken to a father, a mother, a brother, and especially, a twin sister.
Linda, you are and will be sorely missed by all whose lives you touched with your smiles and easy laughter…

On the Death of a Twin Wm. Strode

Where are yee now, Astrologers, that looke
For petty accidents in Heavens booke?
Two Twins, to whom one Influence gave breath,
Differ in more than Fortune, Life and Death.
While both were warme (for that was all they were
Unlesse some feeble cry sayd Life was there
By wavering change of health they seem’d to trie
Which of the two should live, for one must die.
As if one Soule, allotted to susteine
The lumpe, which afterwards was cutt in twain,
Now servde them both: whose limited restraynt
From double vertue made them both to faynt:
But when that common Soule away should flie,
Death killing one, expected both should die:
Shee hitt, and was deceivde: that other parte
Went to supply the weake survivers heart:
So Death, where shee was cruell, seemde most milde:
She aymed at two, and killde but halfe a childe.

God’s joy moves from unmarked box to unmarked box,
from cell to cell. As rainwater, down into flowerbed.
As roses up from the ground.
Now it looks like a plate of rice and fish,
now a cliff covered with vines,
now a horse being saddled.
It hides within these,
till one day it cracks them open.

-Rumi

It is hidden behind
the bright green eyes,
under unmanageable blond hair,
of one who the world says
is odd,
is different,
is slow.

But it is this boy
who lives his life
broken open each
day
with the joy
that we search for
but rarely see from
amid the busyness
of the world.

Where do you find the hidden joy of God?

Many times throughout this journey, this adventure of life, I have felt deeply lost along the way. Yet, at the same time, not really lost. Alone. Not feeling the guidance which I believed was needed at a particular point along the path. Knowing though, that in that darkness, the light was still there, only hidden. By my choice? Maybe. By another’s? Possibly. But for what reason? Why is it necessary for each one of us to experience our own “dark night of the soul”?

I have found in my life that those were the times that offered much more growth than I would have had otherwise. These times allowed me opportunities to pray with such fervency, “I believe, help my unbelief”¹. Isn’t that what happens to each of us when we feel such abandonment by God? When we feel we have been left in the midst of turmoil to survive by our own devices? We easily come to believe that we are to solve all our issues on out own when the reality is far different. It is in these times we need His guidance more than ever.

We’ve not been abandoned. We have been given opportunity. A grand opportunity in the midst of our cries of despair and crises. A chance to stretch our faith. A chance to fall back on Him who is always near though we may not be aware of that closeness. A chance to ask Him to help our unbelief.

Yes, we do have many times in our lives where we believe we are deeply lost along the way. But we do well to remember that we are not truly lost. It is in this darkness that we are given a chance to ask Him, not for what we want, but for what we need, which He already knows. But he waits patiently and quietly for us to approach and ask. And it will be given.

1. Mk 9:24

One need not tell god everything about the people for whom one prays. Holding them one by one steadily before the mind and willing that God may have His will with them is the best, for God knows better than we what our friends need, yet our prayer releases His power, we know not how.¹

1. Laubach, Frank C., Letters by a Modern Mystic

the mirror

the mirror stands as a testament to
imperfectly reflect that which is real,
the surface reflects what we need to do
we see dimly, looking hard for his seal
behind the veil which separates the worlds
of here and now and of eternity
which, in part, we are shown by his heralds,
glimpses brief ’til called to see completely,
our journey is not a means to an end
rather it is the end within itself
remember what is reflected will lend
chance to see reality of oneself
               hidden behind the veil for all to see
               what the reflection offers us to be

Faith is not linear. It is, indeed, a widening of the imagination, a leap into the transcendent, a taste of the numinous, a vision of the extraordinary in the ordinary. And our coach for the leap, the glue in the link, is our Muse, the Spirit of God.¹

1. Luci Shaw “The Partnership of Art and Spirituality”

I was standing at the kitchen sink tonight as my wife, son, and daughter were just sitting down to dinner. I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with a love that can’t be described and I just stood and thanked God for this wonderful, crazy, family that He has blessed me with. Like His grace, and undeserved, unearned blessing.

That’s it…nothing deep…nothing profound. Just a desire to share…

…is something quite simple: one who loves the Lord with all of his heart, mind, and soul and loves his neighbor as himself AND lives his life that way.

How would you end that sentence? Go to Reflections of a Jazz Theologian and offer up your answer….

This piece started out as just a part of Christine’s (Godspace – see link below) Lenten synchroblog but ended up going a bit further when reading Marcus’ post for this weeks RAP at HCB.

I thought that I was meditating on temptation while reflecting on Christ’s temptation in the wilderness but it turned out I was wrong. What I was looking for was grace. The grace that comes from knowing that the one who saved me truly knows the temptations that I face each day. I pray that there may be something in my words that will touch you or give you pause to reflect this Lenten season as we journey toward the cross, the tomb, the raising. I welcome your thoughts and comments, thank-you for taking the time to visit.

i searched for grace

i searched for grace but
instead i found temptation
in conversation:

he said to you:

turn stones into bread,
leap, angels will bear you up,
world’s yours, bow to me;

you said to him:

does not live by bread,
do not test the Lord your God
worship only him;

i searched for grace in
the midst of temptation
and found salvation

Find more Lenten synchrobloggers over at Godspace

A Lenten Prayer

Ash Wednesday
A forty day journey begins
A lament, a calling, a cry out
To the one who creates,
The one who saves and makes us
Whole.
We come to you in brokenness.
We come to you in heartache.
We come to you from wrong roads,
Having departed from the path
You have set before us.

Though we may not know,
We hunger for you, crave your
Touch in our lives
To relieve the suffering,
To heal our pain,
To bring us the terrible sweet joy
Of this journey toward the cross

We offer ourselves
Broken and contrite
To your mercy and love.
We come to you mourning and
Ask to be filled with your joy.
We come to you faithless and
Ask for our faith to be restored.

We begin again as we have
So many times before
Looking to you,
Stepping out on our journey,
Following as you would have us,
To shine your light in this world
Of darkness

Hold us each in your gentle loving hand,
Molding, guiding, loving us,
As we look to deepen our loving relationship
With you our
Father
Creator
Abba

Amen